The Total Stupidity That Is My Brain, Plus Sohmas
by ilovekyosohma
Summary: just a bunch of random stuff i wrote down. yeah, i kind of suggest you don't read it. actually, i really suggest you don't read it. yeah. um.


Ok, this is totally random and stupid. It will probably make you stupider for having read it. If you'd rather maintain your intelligence, I suggest you skip this particular fanfic.

DISCLAIMER: I own fruits basket. Yep. You heard me. It's MINE! Why? Because I tied Natsuki Takaya up and threw her in my basement. I mean…oops.

Kyou had an Incredible Sunburn. It was on his arm. It was letter-shaped. The letters spelled out words. The words made a sentence. The sentence said 'I love Yuki Sohma'. Kyou was wearing long sleeves. He growled.

Yuki was shaving his legs. No, seriously. They had gotten all hairy, so he was shaving. He didn't want hairy legs. They weren't feminine. Um…did I say 'feminine'? I meant 'princelike'. He got a cut, and screamed like a girl.

Tohru was cooking. She was going to cook chicken. Then Kureno came in. he saw the un-cooked chicken. He cried. Then he left. Tohru decided she didn't want to do chores anymore. So she ran away.

Shigure was watching porn. Then he wrote his book. Then he annoyed Mii. Then he watched even more porn. Then kyou stole his porn. Then he ran after Kyou and stole his porn back. Then he slept. But not alone.

Hatori came over. He gave Yuki a check-up. He angst-ed. He cried. Tohru came back for the sole purpose of comforting him. then he slit his wrists. But he didn't die. He just bled alot. Then he left.

Ayame came out of Shigure's room. He danced around singing weird songs. Then he made dresses for guys. And Yuki wore one. Gasp. Then he dragged Shigure and Hatori to the cinnabon, and had a cinnagasm.

Hiro cried. Then he gushed at Kisa. Then he did something stupid. Then he said something stupider. Then he was mean to people. Then he did a dance. Why? Because Akito told him to. Then he cried. Again.

Kisa was watching an anime. Hiro was crying, doing and saying mean and stupid things, and doing the 'I-Love-My-God' dance. But Kisa didn't notice. Why? Because she was too busy falling in love with Megumi Hanajima.

Rin was being a bitch, as per usual. She was hitting people and saying mean things. But then she started crying, and anouncing that she loved the whole Akito-damned world. Then a boy hugged her. POOF.

Kagura was beating the shit out of Kyou. Then she stopped hitting him and said "I LOVE YOU KYOU!!!" and surprisingly enough, Kyou said "I LOVE YOU TOO!". But then Tohru cried, and Kyou went back to her.

Ritsu apologized. And he apologized. And he cross-dressed. And he apologized for cross-dressing. And he apologized for apologizing. I'M SORRY! I'M RAMBLING ABOUT RITSU WHEN I SHOULD MOVE ON TO-

Akito was watching each Sohma perform the 'I-Love-My-God' dance. It goes like this. 1. hop forward. 2. kick up your right foot. 3. kick up your left foot. 4. jump to a standing position with your legs apart. 5. reach right then left hands in air yelling 'GOD, GOD!'. 6. spin in a slow circle shouting 'I Love My God, My God Is Cool'. 7. run up and take Akito's hands. 8. spin Akito to face the other way. 9. skip around to the front of Akito. 10. kneel before Akito and say 'I, your name, swear to love my God forever and ever, as long as we both shall live, which in her case isn't long, which is good, cause I don't mean this stupid pledge anyway and resent being forced to do this stupis dance once a month.' THE END!

We interupt this program to bring you an important news broadcast. Kureno was still moping about the dead chicken he happened to see in Tohru's kitchen with no feathers or anything. That is all.

Haru went black. He rampaged around so much that he ripped a dimensional portal in the air. Then he went white, and got all curious, so he went through it. He wound up in my house. Why? Cuz I said so.

Momiji was sad about being last. He cried. Why am I last? He asked me. I told him a line from 'The Sound Of Music'. I said 'because you are the most important.' And he said 'oooohhhh.' Then he ate candy.

THE END. HOPE YOU HATED IT LESS THAN ME.

AN: that was a random collection of random things the Sohmas might be doing. It is character-bashing to the max, but that doesn't mean I don't love them all a bunch. Anyway, if you read it I'm happy. If you flame, I will either be bitchy or use the flame to keep warm here in my cold little state, depending on my mood.


End file.
